Hearing’s Shoes 30 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in Her Characters....add a comment
Hmmm, I apologise to my hearing friends.. Maybe, I’ve gone too far.. Do forgive me, I may not understand your feelings completely.
Let’s imagine; I may put myself in my hearing friends’ shoes… It’s not easy to sign fluently all the way. And, it’s more difficult to read others’ signing. Most of the times, I can feel alot of frustrations down inside. And when I feel tired or stressed, I won’t sign. Talking is easier than signing. This applies to sms and talking on phone when there’s an urgent situation.
After all, I only know that this only takes alot of hardwork, efforts and patience to be friends of deaf people. I can’t be bochap at most of the times. Deaf people can be over-sensitive, perhaps like Lily Goh..
(This may be the hearing person’s view, I assume)
Well, when I teach my class sign language, they often talk to me, not in sign language. I talk quite well and I behave like a hard of hearing person.
To help achieve their goals (to be part of the deaf community), I pretend not to understand (as a TOTALLY deaf person) and I ask them to sign to me everytime.
Hmmm, I still remember some situations when I sometimes forgot the presence of the deaf people like Andre, Eileen, Huishan, Alfred and Haishu. When I talk to my hearing friends without sign language, some of them looked very sad or frustrated. I sign to them what we talked about earlier. This have taught me to be sensitive at all times. Perhaps, this can lead to my over-sensitivity where I asked my hearing friends (who knows sign language) to sign all the times (sometimes in a rude way – I can shout at them).
Some time ago, I felt I’m between hearing and deaf sides.. Everytime a deaf signer (e.g. Ee Wun) communicates very fast, I can be the hearing’s interpreter, voicing everything what the deaf signs.. As for the hearing person who talks without any knowledge of sign language, I can do for the deaf person in other way..
It’s really tiring doing these things..
And therefore, I chose to be deaf and I can use total communication philosophy for my circle of friends which comprise mostly hearing.
Interpreting Songs into Signs 29 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in Culture & Society, Sign Language, The Song-Signer.add a comment
Interpreting Songs into Signs
Interpreting songs into signs is a popular activity for deaf as well as hearing students. Signing songs is a frequent activity in the music classroom that includes deaf students. With increasing adoption of the total communication philosophy, students in deaf education program are finding song signing to be a useful means of sharing cultural values and performing popular music. Signing songs, however, should not be simply “finger play”. Many of the elements of music and expressive aspects of music can be illustrated through the signing of music: rhythm, tempo, changes in tempo, style, texture, tone color (male signers for male voices, etc), form and dynamics. Careful attention should also be given to the art of interpreting songs into signs. The signing should be as meticulous executed as the singing of the songs. The following guidelines will assist in interpreting songs into signs:
1) Signs used for song interpretation can reflect volume, pitch (though rarely used), rhythm and mood, as well as the lexical content by a variety of uses of body language, facial expression, space and manner of execution.
2) Incorporating rhythm into signs is the most important fact distinguishing musical from non-musical signing. Signing is paced to match the rhythm of the words.
3) Signs are drawn out or accelerated depending on the duration of the sung word.
4) Fingerspelling is rarely used.
5) Instrumental sections or humming require the creative uses of mime. The viewer should be aware of what is happening in the music at all times.
6) Figurative language or symbolism require creativity on the part of the signer.
7) Many times a single sign can reflect an entire phrase in a song.
Musical signing should transmit emotion as vividly as the audible song.
9) Some interpreters suggest that signs move upward as the melody moves upward and as the melody moves downward, so should the signs. This adds very little to the performance for the deaf audience.
10) For sections marked forte (means “loud”), signs should be larger and executed with more force than sections marked piano (means “soft”).
11) Crescendos (means “getting louder”) can also be expressed by gradually making signs larger and more intense. Decrescendos (means “getting softer”) should be expressed by gradually making signs smaller and more gently.
12) Sign should also follow the phrasing of the song, flowing one into the next with a slight pause at the end of the phrase.
13) The song style, whether it be classical, folk, rock, country or pop can be interpreted through the rhythm of signs, facial expression, body language and though unrelated to the signs, the dress of the signer.
14) When groups are performing in sign, special attention should be given to ensemble work. Signs should be synchronized: all hands moving in unison, all signs executed the same way, all signs made in the same amount of space.
15) Signs, like voices, should also blend. No individual signer should stand out among the group. Practice with a mirror or video tape.
16) Use a deaf individual as your “sign master”. Acknowledge him/her in the program.
17) Sign performers should wear solid colors.
– Copied from the printed webpages (Music Education for Deaf Individuals).
Starting All Over Again.. 29 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in The Pessimist, The Princess.add a comment
My dear friends, I’m truly sorry that I made you worry about me so often. When I read my past blogs which were published since February 2004, I came to realize that I have been depressed, having negative thoughts for some time. I guess that I need a long break (perhaps from XTOMIC) and it will be about 3 to 4 months. But it seems impossible. Who will take care of this group for some time? My assistant leader, Richmond?! He’s very busy with his commitments.. Or maybe, XTOMIC-ers can have a long break as me.. Let’s see how, depending XTOMIC’s year-plan.
This time, I let my pain/frustrations go and I am going to start all over again. It all takes attitude to do so because positive attitude is the key towards life. Hmmm, friends… friends…? I do not know… I do not know… I know that my friends are there for me, but still I am confused this time. After all, I only know that I need a soulmate which I can pour everything out and there must be at least a personal touch. Doing the blogspot is like talking to no-one without any personal feel. Hmmmm, who can I confide in?!? I do not know… I do not know… I lost Rossman and Richmond, and I do not know if they can be my soulmates again.. 
Hating… 29 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in The Pessimist.add a comment
I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself… I hate myself…
Falling Into Depression… 28 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in Culture & Society, The Pessimist, The Princess.add a comment
It seemed that I am falling into the pile of depression this time. Right now, I am facing the identity crisis. I know that I am deaf but now, I am blaming my deafness because of my circle of friends (perhaps peer pressure). I do not know how to take things easy when something wrong happens.
Last night, I was unhappy because of the meeting. Was it unnecessary to have the meeting this time? Richmond and Audrey were not listening during the meeting. They laughed and laughed.. I asked myself, “Am I a leader?” I wonder why they are like that. I couldn’t tolerate their bad attitude during the meeting. I was really disappointed with them, even with myself.
I went for clubbing with Richmond, Audrey and Huishan.. I was supposed to relax, but I couldn’t… I drank 2 full glasses of red wine. Was I drunk or not? I walked away, leaving Richmond, Audrey and Huishan drinking.. When I was about to go off, I hoped that they would accompany me, especially Richmond.. But sadly, they didn’t.. I walked to Esplanade and cried alone… I asked myself why, why, why I am not a good friend of them. I then came to think about my deafness. Is it because of my deafness? Or myself? Richmond told me over sms that I was always like that.. Do I take my friends for granted? The first person whom I can think of is Rossman but he is away in Australia. Then, it was Richmond.. Whenever he is with his friends, I can’t tell him that I need him by my side. I know that my friends care for me. But still, I guess that I have already lost them in reality. I have nothing at all. I am blaming my deafness for them. Am I troublesome? Lip-reading is really tiresome!! I do not want to guess what my hearing friends are talking about. Why can’t they sign and sign? No matter how bad their sign language are, they can sign in presence of deaf people. We will feel that we can be part of them as good friends and when we are involved in their talk, we will be happy to know what’s going on no matter how small, unimportant the issue is.. If not, what for to have deaf friends like us?
I know it is no use blaming my deafness.. Deafness always remains in my life. I guess, most of the deaf face this problem.. After all, we all are human beings..
Hmmm, I think that I lost my friends, Rossman, Richmond, Adrian, Audrey and others.. Or my faith in them have decreased.. There’s no or little way (or hope?) for me to treasure this beautiful friendship that I ever had. They are already fed up with me or perhaps deaf community.
If I take friends for granted, I would be nothing in their eyes. If I am serious in this and really have them as my good friends, I would have become more cheerful and lively as before. We could share things together. And, we could confide in each other.
In reality, I am nothing in their eyes.. They didn’t share things with me. Or they didn’t confide in me. I know nothing about them. Even worse, I do not know what likes or dislikes they have. When their birthday arrives, I do not know what to buy for them to make them happy.
Today, I have come to know that I have been falling deeper into depression. I know that I have to help myself. With good friends, I believe that I would be more cheerful.. I only know that I treasure friendship the most. The more I treasure, I can be either very happy (flying higher) or very sad (crying)..
I wish I could be a Hearing person like them.. I wish I could be a Hearing person like them.. I wish I could be a Hearing person like them.. I wish I could be a Hearing person like them.. I wish I could be a Hearing person like them.. I wish I could be a Hearing person like them.. I wish I could be a Hearing person like them..
My Girl 26 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in Drama/Movie, The Child.add a comment
My Girl
Separated from the other neighborhood boys by a busy street his mother won’t let him cross, the young Jeab (Charlie Trairattana) spends his days playing with Noi Nah (Focus Jirakul), the girl next door whose preternatural intelligence, enthusiasm and energy make her the leader of the two. Adolescence changed Jeab’s immediate social group and he started hanging around with other boys, and even agreed to torment the other girls — including Noi-Na — at his friends’ behest. Noi-Na was understandably upset and angry and her family moved to another province a week later. Jeab didn’t see her after that, but 20 years later, he received an invitation to Noi-Na’s wedding. He wants to attend her special day, of course, but how can he live down the shame of his earlier, irresponsible actions?
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Yesterday, I went to watch this movie with Huishan at Plaza Singapura. Huishan got 2 free movie tickets from Golden Village, there’s no need for us to pay anything for tix (worth $15).. Hmm, I was there to make myself happy and I was very sad because of Richmond and YouthBeat.. Meanwhile, I hoped that my day would be brighter..
After this movie, I felt much better.. This movie is really ordinary with its good plot. It played alot of Thai songs like Indian movies usually have. Well, I can rate it, giving 6.5 out of 10.
Skipping Lessons.. 23 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in The Child.add a comment
Today, I missed my percussion lesson because of the irritation in my left ear.. Unbearable.. Very painful!
I slept for more than 12 hours. I feel much better after a long sleep.. But still, my left ear looks so swollen.
Hope to go to school tomorrow.. It’ll be a long day.. Hmm, my results of my theory quiz will be out tomorrow. I suppose that I will pass it with flying colors. 
~ Pain ~ Pain ~ Pain ~ 22 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in The Child.add a comment
Out of fun, I got an ear piercing on the top of my left ear. Another reason is that I wanted to destress.. I was just playful.. Ah lian.. or whatever..
Since last Monday, it is still painful.. Ouch, ouch!! Very painful.. I dare not comb my hair on my left side.. Last Sat, I combed roughly and it knocked my ear so hard. It was so painful that I shed a few tears…
Until now, I feel very painful over there… PAINFUL!! PAINFUL!!! PAINFUL!!! :~(
I couldn’t sleep on my left side.. And, I couldn’t wear my left hearing aid… Therefore, I guess I won’t go for the ear piercings anymore.. And, as for the body piercing, I do not want to go for it. It’s really intolerable!! :~~(
…Blues… 22 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in The Pessimist.add a comment
Last week was my school holidays.. I spent most of those holidays by watching 8 DVDs (Finding Nemo, Catch Me If You Can, A Maid In Manhattan, Artifical Intelligence, The Pianist, Remember The Titans, The Gladiator and Spiderman). This really made me feel more and more lazy. Today, I got monday blues which I do not wish to go anywhere. But I feel I was “forced” to go for the meeting tonight.
Hmmm, the Pianist is really a good movie what detailed the pianist’s survival during the World War II. There, he struggled to stay alive when cast away from those he loved. He would eventually reclaim his artistic gifts, and confronts his fears, with aid from the unlikeliest source – a German officer who helped him hide in the final days of the war.
Besides this, it depicted the life of Jews during the WWII. Even, it shows the cruelty of the Germans soldiers. They chose some Jews anyhow and the poor Jews were killed instantly (without any reasons).
Come to think of it, all of us around the world hope to have peace and prosperity this time. For this peace & prosperity, we need to fight on for what we want. Well, no one is perfect. We all need to survive no matter how much difficulties we face. ~sighz~
The Show Must Go On 19 March 2004
Posted by pretty_percusso in Culture & Society, The Pessimist.add a comment
It seems that most of my readers asked me to continue my blogspot. They hope to understand my thoughts in some ways. Or they hope to know me better day by day. So, I decided to continue my blogspot… Whatever I write, this is my own opinions or thoughts.. But I wish I could know my friends better and I hope to have my good friends around with me.
I really do not wish to lose my good friends like that. However, attitude and respect count. If you consider me as your good Deaf friend, you need to be part of the Deaf community. That means, you need to know sign language and other aspects. I do not ask for anything except for only love, understanding and trust.
I know that I will never fit myself into the Hearing environment. However, I am considered as part of the Hearing community because I’m trained to speak well for better adaption to every Hearing environment. I even talk to my closest persons (like Mummy, Papa, Gege1, Gege2 and Vivian) on phone. At the same time, I hope that my Hearing friends understand me.. I also want to understand them… They need to sign what they want to say and it will be easier for me to understand without any hassle or bad feelings. This is only a 2-way communication which everyone of Deaf & Hearing wants to understand one another.
Who sacrifices alot?? Deaf or Hearing? Most of the Hearing expects from the Deaf to do in their ways like talking on phone, holding meetings, listening and watching English movies at cinemas. The Deaf are not those who bow so lowly to their Hearing ways. We need to be ourselves for who we are. Why don’t we have them to learn sign language to communicate with us? And, why don’t they do according to the Deaf culture? For example, SMS is the only way for the Deaf to communicate, why is it so troublesome to the Hearing? It all takes only patience and understanding to do this and that..
Right now, you see that I am closer to my Hearing friends than my Deaf friends.. I do not know why it is so. I guess I have only Richmond, Audrey, Rossman, Arnold, Yanxiu, Lydia, Jocelynn, Adrian, Nora, Handoko and Karter.. Right now, I do not know who is so close to me. I know they care alot for me. However, I do not wish to lose them as my good friends… I wish I could talk to these good friends on phone and let them confide in me. Or it can be in another way. But sadly, I can’t do this. All the times, I leave my pc online so that we can talk online and it will be easier this way. This applies to my handphones. They are always on.
If one of you go away like that, I will be quietly upset and more hurt. Meanwhile, I may be confused with myself one day, especially my self-identity.
Am I a nuisance? Am I troublesome??
You see, I have no friends at NAFA. I am trying to be their friends. But it seems that there is an unbreakable wall between them and me. I only smiled at them. The thing I can do to be their friends is to give them my support when they are performing.
“A deaf person is more alone among hearing people than when he is being alone.” This quote from the book entitled, “A Deaf Adult Speaks Out” is a fact where deaf often feels this, especially those in mainstream schools. I understand it completely, even the Deaf people do.
If the Hearing does not understand this, he may say that deafness is a pity, it needs to be symphaized or grieved. This is NOT a pity. Deafness is part of this person whom he/she has to go through painful experiences. These painful experiences can’t be compared. This is to make him/her capable in every situation.
