~ PerCusSo ~

Praise GOD!! My sister-in-law, Vickie, delivered her another son at NUH at 7.44AM last morning (27th July). I was happy for them anyway. Hmm, I suppose my brother is very proud to have 2 sons. He boasted to me that I got no children! That’s ridiculous, I am not married yet. I am still single and available..!

These 2 boys got their very unique, long names.. I do not know why my brother gave them these names. Perhaps, they are of Singaporean-Filipino parentage. This may be one of their reasons..

On the left side: Kiev Leemuel Goh Khim Ghee, 14 July 1999

On the right side: Seth Leeandre Goh Khim Ren, 27 July 2004

Today, I visited them. Delighted to carry Seth this time. He’s quite heavy. 3.3KG!!

Hmm, as for Kiev, I didn’t carry him when Vickie delivered this first baby of hers. It was because I was flying with other 3 representatives to Australia to attend the World Federation for the Deaf Youth Camp. Ok, I suppose that Kiev must be happy to have his brother. But when Kiev held his mother so tight, I assume he’s trying to get attention from her. I’m not sure that there will be the “fight” for the mother’s love and attention between these 2 boys for now.. Well, this is natural.. I believe that this family has been blessed with happiness and love.. May GOD continue to bless them..!

Last week, we had our frustrations on booking of coach, train or accomodation. And, we were very worried because everything was fully booked. I cried over this, I realised that it’s really hard coordinating this kinda of group holiday. I sms most of them, but no reply from them. I was very, very worried.. I turned to negative thoughts on being deaf. I had to depend on other people to help me book transport or accomodation. It seemed that deaf people are not independent in almost a few things, for example, making a call on urgent task or emergency..

Hmm, sms is usually thought to be almost perfect for deaf people to communicate everywhere. But sadly, when it comes to certain things like emergency call, one has to depend on another for help. Well, nevermind about it.. At least, we are useful people who can contribute to the society in most of the ways. We are delighted to do so.

Hooray, everything on the XTOMIC retreat is almost settled! We can go together to Kulau Lumpur to enjoy our 4D&3N stay during the NDP period (6 August to 9 August)..! We’ll be in Sunway Lagoon, playing around. This will be my 2nd time to step into Malaysia since I last went to Pulau Redang with my 7 other friends in 2002. @ years apart from that.

Meanwhile, hope this retreat will be more fun and enjoyable this time.. Perhaps, after the retreat in KL, I may be going to Johor Bahru with my good friend, Lydia on some of the weekends. I do not know why I cannot go there alone, perhaps I think I’m too unfamiliar with Malaysia. Or I like to travel with people.. Am I like that? *thinking hard* I will only know my answer myself well when time passes by..

Alright, let’s count down to our XTOMIC retreat.. 10 days to go!!

Finally, my personal budgeting was done..! Without this budgeting, I would have declared myself a bankrupt. Hmmm, I must practise my strict discipline with my spending powers so that I could learn how to save money for my future needs.

So now, I guess this is a time for me to study finances and other $$ matters. I have NONE of these knowledge, what a great shame! I do not know when I can grow up!! *shaking my head* I may need help from my good friends this time.. And now, I am thinking of opening another saving accounts with good interest rates. Which one, UOB or OCBC should I go to??

This time, I need to secure my other part-time job at Mr. Teow’s office. That’s the admin work like maintaining the website, designing things. Back then, I kept on delaying this for XTOMIC for some time.. I didn’t know why I did like that..!! Perhaps, I loved XTOMIC too much!! Or I loved music too much!!!

Well, I have my 100% answers for my future career. I really love the job of teaching music as well as performing. This is more like being an freelance performer. I keep on having plenty of ideas on performing and teaching (music, and perhaps sign language). Ha, I’m now doing the proposal on setting up of percussion band under XTOMIC. This is almost done, I’m gonna show it to Dawn and others soon.

Alright, I need to keep on improving myself.. Never give up so easily!!

Yesterday, that was our splendid performance! This was our first time performing with CCCrush..! After all, we enjoyed it together. And, CCCrush hopes to perform some of the future shows with us in either dancing or song-signing.

And now, we finally have our long break till September/October. Meanwhile, we have rejected many requests, even IDDeaf’s. We all are very exhausted after many various performances.. I guess that we are very happy to have this break. Alright, as for me, I have mixed feelings about this. I do not know why it is so, I suppose that I have gotten used to it and suddenly, everything stopped. And, I do not know what to do on every Wednesday. Resting at home?! Let things take its course slowly..

Hmm, XTOMIC has another upcoming show at Takashimaya Atrium (basement near the supermarket) on this coming Sunday, 18th July at 7pm. We will be performing with CCCrush, a female pop group together for the SWATCH event. The CCCrush will be singing “Time After Time” while we will be signing.. All of us will be wearing SWATCH watches as a part of the promotion.

Do come down to Takashimaya and support us all the way!! *cheers*

Hmmm, I’m truly grateful to those who supported me no matter if they were with me on that day. Thank you, everyone!

Well, the 4 star judges (Dick Lee, Florence, Douglas & Ken) didn’t put me to the next round although I did a very good front during the audition. Their comments were encouraging.. Hmm, it was so touching that I cried after the audition. I highly understand that they didn’t want to hurt me anyway. They told me that I sang very well, even I memorised the lyrics well. They admired me for my courage which I had ever taken part in Singapore Idol. As they had said, they meant that I am their Singapore Idol. However, they didn’t want to put me to the next round so that it will be more fair to other contestants. I asked them if it was because of my deafness which I couldn’t make it to the third round. They said “No, you have won everyone’s admiration and it means, I am everyone’s Singapore Idol!”

By the way, this choice which I made was a great experience to me. It was an EYE-OPENER! Ha, although I didn’t make it to the next round, it does not mean that I can give this music dream up so easily. There are many ways to it, I believe it.. Ok, whatever it takes, I really perservere to keep this dream alive forever.

Tonight was the last practice for XTOMIC. And, this will be our break till October/November 2004.

Hmmm, come to think of it, I attended almost every practice without any fail. So did Jason and Huishan, I noticed.. It’s quite tough for us! Well, this is volunteer work. We can’t blame anyone who cannot attend due to their personal or work commitments. It’s hard to get everyone to work together and finalise everything for every performance or project.

Right now, it’s time for me to secure my full-time work. And, it’ll be my long break where I can move on to my dreams. Or maybe, I can enjoy my life. In fact, I knew that I shouldn’t limit myself to leading XTOMIC as it’s only volunteer work that will not get me anywhere. I had always wanted to bring XTOMIC into international performing arts events or perhaps competitions like the HI! Theatre. I have a plenty of plans for XTOMIC like holding a concert, musical or taking part in Singapore Street Festival.

Along the way, I have been asking the HI! Theatre how this can be done. Meanwhile, I have been asking for more quotations on percussion instruments, I’m planning to form the Percussion Band/Ensemble. That’s some of my long-term goals. Oh, I shouldn’t talk these things and I suppose they must be boring to my readers.

Alright, I’m looking forward to have a holiday breakaway in Bintan, together with XTOMIC. This’s gonna be fun!

From that website (I forgot its url) which Huishan sent me very recently, the songs over there are very nice. So, I copied the lyrics of some songs:

Will You Still Love Me

Tonight you’re mine… completely

You give your love… so sweetly

Tonight… the light… of love is in your eyes

But will you love me… tomorrow

Is this a lasting… treasure

Or just a moment’s… pleasure

Can I… believe… the magic of your sighs

Will you still love me… tomorrow

Tonight with words… unspoken

You say that I’m the only one

But will my heart… be broken

When the night… meets the mor…ning sun

I’d like to know… that your love… is love I can… be sure of

So tell… me now

And I won’t ask again

Will you still love me… tomorrow

Will you still love me… tomorrow

Mommy

They say,

Mommy you are like a dream,

Not always what you seem,

And though my heart may break, when I awake,

Let it be so, I only know

Mommy it’s you.

They say,

Mommy you are like a song,

You just don’t know right from wrong,

And in your eyes I see,

Heartaches for me.

Right from the start, who stole my heart?

Mommy it’s you.

I hear your voice,

And I must come to you.

I have no choice,

So what else can I do?

They say,

Mommy you are like a flame,

Into your life I came,

And though I should beware,

Still I just don’t care.

You thrill me so, I only know,

Mommy it’s you.

Pledging My Love

Forever, my darling

My love will be true

Always and forever

I’ll love just you

Just promise me darling

Your love in return

Make this fire in my soul, dear

Forever burn

My heart’s at your command, dear

To keep, love and to hold

Making you happy is my desire, dear

Keeping you is my goal

I’ll forever love you

The rest of my days

I’ll never part from you

And your loving ways