~ PerCusSo ~

I feel much better after I made up my mind to go for the big break, together with XTOMIC on a voluntary basis. Meanwhile, I hope everyone will be happy with my decision. *crossing fingers*

Shall I go for my big break…? This question has been playing in my mind since Cheryl Miles, one of the CCCrush members sent me her sms.

In her sms, she is really very proud to know me as her friend. She told me that I am her Spore Idol, inspiring her to greater heights. Meanwhile, she invited me to perform one song with her at Esplanade for CCCrush’s first concert on 26 Nov. It’s that song she wrote. She told me that she would like to pay me a token fee as she thinks I’m now a celebrity. She would like the rest of XTOMIC-ers to perform, but she can’t pay them. She hopes to have my keen, positive reply soon.

Haha, I’m very interested in this. It seems that this is a chance for me to have a big break. Just now, I even showed her sms to Jarn May and Alfred who are close to me. They were happy for me. Then, Jarn May advised me a plenty of things. She advised me to build my performing portfolio this time. That means, I have to get those organisations to write the appreciation letters to recognise my efforts in performing for several events. Meanwhile, she told me to be selfish, it’s better to perform solo (without XTOMIC) all the way.. Who knows some organisations are willing to sponsor me one day? In this way, I will have many achievements in my life.

Jarn May asked me so many questions, and now I’m left with some feelings of frustrations. “Why do you juggle so many part-time jobs?” “Why do organisations not come all the way to sponsor your music diploma studies?”

I only know that I work so hard for my music dream since very young. I do not understand why I never work for money although I have my financial problems.

Shall I go for it?! And, will XTOMIC-ers be supportive of it if they are invited to perform with CCCrush on a voluntary basis? Or shall I forget about this token fee in order to show unity in XTOMIC?

Oh GOD, help me..!!

After receiving the plaque, I’m proud of this XTOMIC small achievement. When I saw my friend, Ee Lee, she told me about her henna stall. So, I decided to have one for myself. Look at this…

This henna looks same as our XTOMIC logo. I made one bookmark on XTOMIC out for fun. The henna artist, Annie (who is my friend) made this, great work!! I love it!!!

XTOMIC got another achievement last night! This is our plaque from Viriya Community Services, to recognize our efforts to train small kids in song-signing. It says, “XTOMIC Singapore Association for the Deaf… In Appreciation of your Wholehearted Support”. The label ‘XTOMIC Singapore Association for the Deaf’ on this plaque sounds so funny as if XTOMIC founded SADeaf. To be exactly correct, it should be below SADeaf.. I suppose, there is no space to put these letters ‘XTOMIC’ below.

By the way, I will show this plaque to everyone in XTOMIC on 29 Sept before giving it to Dawn.

Thanks to Karter, Fern, Jason, Huishan and me, the kids performed song-signing confidently at Singapore River last night. The 2 performing items are R Kelly – I Believe I can Fly and S Club 7 – Reach. These kids like them very much. After all, it was a great success!

Haha, I think we all enjoyed teaching these kids. It was not so easy to teach them since they have their very short concentration span. But amazingly, they have good memory. We have to teach them, using the left-hand signing technique. They regard us as their ‘mirrors’. This left-hand signing technique is not easy to master anyway. Hmm, we are truly grateful that we learnt some new things from the one-time project this time. I guess, as the leader of XTOMIC, we should come up with various projects in this way to share the Deaf Culture with them like Indians, Chinese and others. Meanwhile, we can learn many things from there all the way.

Since my Spore Idol recording, I had been overwhelmed with many things. I have clean forgotten about my another new part-time job which I was supposed to start my work on 15 Sept. Luckily, my boss understands my situation.. And, I will be able to start on 20 Sept.

Hmm, I’m really stressed over the KFC competition. Some days ago, 5 of us (Kawai, Kamisah, Huishan, Jesline and me – KFC Toa Payoh Express) went for the first round of this competition. We were shortlisted, then we needed to do the requirement which the judges (at the 1st round) decided. That is, coming up with new dance in the certain song, Greased Lightning.

Donna told us that 5 groups, including KFC Toa Payoh Express beat other 35 branches of KFC, Pizza and Customer Service. The other 4 groups need to do new dance in the songs of Moulin Rouge, Austin Powers, Bollywood I and Bollywood II.

As Donna said earlier on, we need to finish this dance by 18 Sept and show it to the dance choegrapher. The choegrapher will fine-tune our dance. Right now, we are not sure about the counting in this Greased Lightning song! Hope he can help us in this. Perhaps, this way, we can get a better idea of this. And meanwhile, we hope to do our best.

Before coming down for the fine-tuning, I have a strong feeling about this. I know that we will fare very badly. Worst group of all.. We may be looked down by others. Hmm, I do not care about this. I believe that we can only do our best by practising more. At the same time, we hope to win something. And by then, we will get ready before the competition which is scheduled on 5 October. *praying*

My short-lived moments of being a STAR arrived on the day of the Spore Idol recording. Hmm, it was much fun!! I enjoyed it to the fullest…

This recording went smoothly after all. Before the recording, I was really stressed. I met up with Cecilia this morning and we practised together. Thanks to her, I somehow managed to get most of its rhythm and pitch right. But when the song (without vocal) was played during the rehearsals at the MediaCorp theatre, I was at loss. Very horrible. I guess, I was too stiff and nervous..

Cecilia told me secretly that my voice was covered by other performers especially, Sadli and Ross. They sang very loudly. My voice couldn’t be heard at all. She’s very unhappy over this, she felt that they should let Albert and me sing a duet, not a group. She told me that I was doing quite well in singing the song, Music Of My Heart.. This made me feel much encouraged by her and my other friends (who sms me earlier on).

Earlier on, I was really confused. At first, it was a solo performance, then it changed to a duet performance done by Albert and me. Again, it changed into a group performance and then back to the duet one. And this time, it was the group performance by Albert, Sadli, Gurmit, Ross and me. Too bad for me.. My friends couldn’t enjoy more of my performance, they told me in their sms. Anyway, it’s alright for me as the opportunity was right here in front of me. I’m glad to perform on TV although it’s quite short-lived. After all, I did my very best in my performance.

And, thanks, my friends for coming down to see my performance in a way of supporting me. Huishan, Andre, Kamisah and her other friends made these 2 banners, they are really lovely. I have put them up near my computer. Elaine, thanks for the bouquet of lilies, I love it.. I’m gonna keep them no matter they’re gonna die. Eugene and Zach, thanks for interpreting throughout the whole show. Thanks very much and I love you all!! You made me feel being a STAR!!

Okay, this recording on Spore Idol Special: Unsung Heroes will be played on this coming Thursday, 23 Sept. Channel 5. 8pm.

Hmm, I will give it a miss again because I got the KFC practice. Any of my friends out there, who can help record this and convert it into the VCD? Do let me know soon, thanks..

Well, these pictures below are meant to promote Deaf awareness to public. Besides this, it is, sort of, a part of the International Day of the Deaf event for this year. Do take note that these posters and trayliners are respectively sponsered by two Deaf Ambassadors of 2004: Siemens and KFC..

Hmm, I guess I am famous for now. Everywhere, there got the posters of myself at the bus-stops over this small island, Singapore. Actually, there are 2 different posters: Me and David Lee (whom is a teacher at Singapore School for the Deaf). I managed to see those posters and I slowly came to realise that there are more Lily Goh than David Lee everywhere. Perhaps, I’m wrong about it. But it is just that I feel sick of seeing myself everywhere..

And, there is another thing: KFC Trayliner. The design was really awesome! But surprisingly, my photo is the biggest of all. I do not understand why the KFC designer made it this way.. WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

It seems that I’m SADeaf’s new Deaf icon to Singapore, telling everyone that Deaf can do anything except hear. I’m glad to do so. But.. me here, me there, me everywhere.. That’s enough of me for now! I really wanna give more spotlight to other Deaf achievers who do better than me..!!

There was once a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began…

Honestly, no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as:

“Oh, WAY too difficult!! They will NEVER make it to the top.”

“Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!”

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one… Except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher… The crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!”

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up… But ONE continued higher and higher and higher… This one wouldn’t give up! At the end, everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal? It turned out…

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

============================

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be negative or pessimistic ’cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. The ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore: ALWAYS be… POSITIVE!

And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfil YOUR dreams!

Always think: I can do this!

I’m truly grateful to my cousin, Vivian for accompanying me to MediaCorp. She helped me although she does not know any sign language and she does not know how to interpret for me.

Hmm, I couldn’t find anyone who can help me. Some time ago, one of the Spore Idol production team called me if I can perform on 15 Sept. I agreed. Then, I was asked to come again to MediaCorp for the filming of video which will be played before my performance. Karter was not free. Zach and Pet were not free. Luckily for me, I had Vivian with me as she has her 1-week of school holiday. She helped me alot during the filming. Good thing, the filming took less than 1 hour. And, with my handphone, we had our fun photo-taking session on our own. It’s really fun!!

Some of you know that my father was being hospitalised at NUH since last Tuesday. He is now okay.. Hmmm, I have been feeling so terrible since last Saturday. I asked myself if it is a good thing to know it or not..

Last Saturday, I met Richmond at NUH.. He called me ” so blur”.. It’s because I didn’t know that my father was discharged at the time when I was there at NUH. I visited him almost everyday since last Tuesday. Until now, I didn’t really know what affected him.. I even asked my parents why it was so but in the end, I really didn’t know. It’s very hard for us to communicate. My parents are Chinese-speaking. My brothers didn’t bother to tell me.

Therefore, all I can do is to BE BOCHAP!! I let it be like that.. I do not know if this is alright with everyone.

I wish I could be not deaf at that time. I really want to know what’s going on.. But it couldn’t be helped. In the end, I feel useless, standing there, doing nothing..