~ PerCusSo ~

What’s LOVE?

I know everyone loves me. But sadly, I do not know how to love everyone. Too many of them… I can only love myself, my family and my good friends. But sadly, I do not have much of a love life here. It has been a very long time since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend in 1998. Come to think of it, I have been so busy with many commitments. In the end, I do not have much time for any dates or relationships.

I like this picture very much.. It’s made by Chih Chang. He loves arts and photography. Glad to post this picture with his permission..

This picture has its meanings and perhaps, this’s my own interpretation. From this interpretation, there’s a very long path when you look for a perfect person to come into your life.

As for me, I think I’m not good at love relationships of mine. I only know that I desire for my Mr. Right who can communicate with me more, take care of me and above all of these, he loves me in every way. I prefer him to know sign language. I do not wish to waste time on any guys who are not interested in sign language. Although I can talk well, I do not regard myself as a Hard of Hearing person. I do not like to lip-read much as it’s quite tiring when I have many things to do.

And since I love performing arts, especially song-signing, I really hope that Mr. Right and I practise and perform together, happily.

Ha, I guess I expect too much.. Well, there’s a very long path ahead of me to meet my Mr. Right and I’m still walking. I do not know when I can stop. It’s quite tiring..

Yesterday was Seth’s Dedication Day. Seth is my 2nd nephew. This was my 2nd time celebrating it with my brother’s family. Although I am the free-thinker, I wish this family all the best. I believe that George and Vickie (my brother & his wife) will put all their efforts in guiding their 2 sons all the way, even with GOD’s faith.

Mary and Susan have been friends for years. They grew up together and attended the same schools. They are now both in their 40’s, and both have great careers. They both have a similar upbringing – same education, same family values, similar support and financial position. But there was one main difference.

Mary never seemed to have enough time. She watched her life-long friend Susan. She had similar responsibilities and interests. Susan had a career, she had three children, and she had her hobbies, one of which included golf.

Over lunch, Susan was telling Mary about the golf game that she played last weekend.

“Susan, where do you find the time to play golf?” asked Mary.

“I never seem to have the time, now with the children older and doing their own thing I thought I would have time to play golf like we did when we were in college.”

Susan looked at Mary and laughed, “Mary, we both have the same hours in a day. You do have the time to play golf!”

With a sigh Mary replied, “That’s easy for you to say. I never seem to have time. My work takes so much of my time. I am in the office at 7:30; I leave at 6:30 in the evening. By the time I get home and have dinner, it is 8:00! And then I usually have a briefcase full of work. The weekends are full of more work.

Just to keep up, I have to put in the hours. You know what it is like!”

“Of course, I know what it is like,” Susan said. “But what would happen tomorrow if you got sick? Who would do the work?”

“Sick? Who has time to get sick?!” exclaimed Mary. “But if I did get sick, someone else would do the work, I suppose.”

“You know something, Mary; I used to be like you. I worked night and day and of course on weekends. When I got home I was exhausted but I would push myself and read my children a bedtime story. By the time I went to bed, I would be more than exhausted. The boss I had was very demanding. She was there early in the morning, late at night, and she always worked weekends.

I felt I had to do the same – I needed the job to help support my family -just as you did. But then I had a change of bosses. The man I worked for was older and much wiser, I might add! Of course, I continued to work the hours I had been working.

One day he came to my desk and passed me a card that had a quote on it which said, ‘What I do today is important, because I will never have today again’ – and then he left.

I sat there stunned. I suddenly thought of what was important to me.

While my work was important, I realised my children were more important. I also realised that time for me was important. It was 4:30, the official closing time of the office. I straightened my desk, felt a twinge of guilt about leaving, but I forced myself to leave.

I was home by 5:00. My children and husband were surprised. I had a wonderful evening. It was not a chore to read that bedtime story that evening.”

Mary was looking at her friend thoughtfully and then questioned Susan about the work she had left on her desk. Susan replied, “I never thought this possible, but I actually accomplished more the next day than I had in weeks. As I was leaving the next day I stopped at my new boss’s office and thanked him for the quote.

He told me a story about advice his dad had given him many years ago when he was working night and day. He referred to it as ‘Balance of Life’.

His dad told him to keep balance in his work, in his family life and in time for himself. He explained to me, while all aspects of our life are important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all addictions you lose:

7 No balance with your family – you lose them 7 No balance with your work – you lose your perspective and you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.

7 No balance with yourself – you forget who you are and when you retire you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a company sale or downsizing you lose your identity.

He went on to tell me that who we are is NOT what we do to make a living.

Who we are is a balance of our family, our work, ourselves! It truly was the best advice I ever received.”

Mary took a drink of her tea and tearfully looked at her friend, “But I would never get my work done if I left at 4:30!” Susan looked thoughtfully at her, “When you go to work on Monday

1. Look at what you have on your desk

2. Make a list of everything you have to get done

3. And beside that list write the impact of not doing it

4. Then focus only on the top three items that have the most impact.

5. Do that everyday for a week.

At first, you will find it difficult to leave. But, after awhile, you will find that you will have more energy, and you will be more focused in your work because you have BALANCE! There are times when we have to lose balance- a special project at work, or a family matter at home but consciously focusing on balance keeps everything in check.”

Mary smiled at her friend, “Thanks for talking with me. We have been friends for so long. Thank heavens I have balance with our friendship!

You have convinced me. I will leave the work in my briefcase this weekend.

On Monday, I will make the list first thing. Perhaps next weekend, I will have the time to go golfing with you!”

“Balance of Life” – important for us ALL!

They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don’t recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realising that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Ha, I had a wonderful time at the KFC Chalet..

Over there, we divided ourselves into 3 teams: Tom-Yum, Crispy and Original. We played games till 7pm. In the end, Crispy won. I was one of them in this group! :p

After the programme of games, 5 of us performed 2 items for them: ‘Larger Than Life’ and ‘Greased Lightning’ for the deaf staff.

Hmmm, although I am not the staff of the deaf KFC, I really enjoy the moments I had spent with them. I miss my (2003) working days with them now and this made me feel like going back to join them as part of the staff. Even, Donna, the manager of the deaf KFC asked me to re-join.. But I do not think so.

This car was actually used for our KFC competition. It was beautifully done by Alfred, his father and me.

Right now, I still keep this car at home. This will be used again for XTOMIC’s performance at this November’s CCA event. Meaning?? XTOMIC will perform this song ‘Greased Lightning’ again.

Hey, I dare not destroy it. Even, I do not wish to do so after our performance. But I do not know where to keep it. I wish XTOMIC could have our own room. :p

Hmm, it seems that the Deaf KFC got the happening this week: CHALET at Pasir Ris. Almost all of the deaf staff are going. I wonder if this store will close for a day. No.. It will be taken care by the hearing staff of other branches.

Some of you know that I’m no longer working in the Deaf KFC since last January 2004. Yet, I’m going for it upon the invitation from Donna. I look forward to it, I’m very excited.. Will post the happenings after the chalet (19 Oct to 21 Oct).

Hmm, I’m very happy for CCCrush to hold their very first concert at Esplanade Recital Studio. I’m thinking of buying one album of theirs to show my appreciation and admiration. Well, CCCrush invited XTOMIC and me to perform with them. Only one song. Better than nothing. So now, we suppose, we need to give a good, professional show together with them this time..

Alright, do check this link out…

Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area. Then suddenly, the student asked the teacher,

Student: Teacher, I’m confused, how can we find our soul-mate? Can you please help me?

Teacher (Silent for few second, than he answers): Well, it’s a pretty hard and easy question.

Student (Thinking hard): Huh?!

Teacher: Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don’t you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one…

Student: Well, ok then… wait for me… (walked straight ahead to the grass field).

A few minutes later…

Student: I’m back.

Teacher: Em, well I don’t see any beautiful grass on your hand.

Student: On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn’t pick it up. But I didn’t realize that I’m at the end of the field, and I hadn’t picked up any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn’t go back.

Teacher: That’s what happened in real life.

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What is the message of this story?

** Grass – is people around you.

** Beautiful Grass – is people that attract you.

** Grass Field – is time.

In looking for your soulmate, please don’t always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you’ll waste your lifetime, cause’ remember “Time Never Goes Back”.

It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity that you have now, don’t waste time!

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I like this story.. Hmmm, I suppose all of us often compare ourselves to others. That’s life, in fact.

It’s a best thing that we are what we are. Our lives are based on our choices where we made for ourselves and we can’t blame ourselves for it. I only know that the greatest thing is to love and to be loved.. And, it’ll be a great, wonderful sensation to us!

Finally, Huishan and I finished composing lyrics for the Wataboshi Music Competition. Now, we’ve submitted our very first lyrics today. “If You Were In My Shoes” is our entry, this describes our obtacles we faced while growing up.

Right now, we hope this will come out as one of 8 entries. I told Huishan that I have my vote of 100% confidence that it will be the winner as it’s a great inspiration to me. :p

Once it’s considered as one of the competiting entries, I will type the lyrics out here. Do keep a lookout for it..

Joke 1

Boy goes for the Blood Test. The nurse takes the sample but she can’t find cotton so she sucks his finger! Boy is so happy that he asks, “Can I get a Urine Test, too?”

Joke 2

Do you know why guys fart louder? Because in between his legs, there is 1 microphone and 2 speakers.

Joke 3

A wife asks her hubby how many women he had slept with? Her husband proudly replies, “Only you, darling. With others, I was awake!”

Joke 4

A man asks the doctor, “How to live longer?”

Doc: You smoke?

Man: No..

Doc: You drink?

Man: No..

Doc: You play mahjong?

Man: No..

Doc: You like sex?

Man: No..

Doc: Then you want to live so long, for what?

Joke 5

A group of Ah-Bengs want to go disco. Outside the disco, there is a notice, “Only 18 & above is allowed.”

Ah-Beng: Wau lau wey, there only 17 of us.

Joke 6

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Joke 7

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Joke 8

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael. He’s a doctor.’”

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.”

Haha, we WON the 2nd prize for the KFC & Pizza Hut Dance Competition last Tuesday!! Although there were alot of hiccups along the way, we were still proud to win something: $ prize $, respect and friendship from the public.

Along the way, we were very stressed. It was because of the music which played so distorted. We all were lost in the beginning and during the dance, we followed the hearing member, Jesline who was in our team. This was our good thing to have her in our team. Without her, we would have lost our coordination all the way.

Alright, it’s over now.. We all look forward to meet one another again for dinner and meanwhile, we’re waiting for the prize to land on our hands..