~ PerCusSo ~

… May this DOG year be prosperous with full of good things coming on your way! Woof!! Woof!!

Last night was my first time dining outside together. Every year, my family and I had steamboat cum BBQ for our reunion dinner at home without any fail. However, something was missing. … … … My papa is not there!

So, I dismissed this thought and hope everything goes well for everyone. I received a red packet from my eldest brother and found that I got a TOTO ticket and some money. My mother also got it. So, I guess he hopes we win something. *winks*

My elder brother lent his DVD of “Jewel in the Palace” (Part One) to me without any obligations. I didn’t ask him about it. Unexpected! Anyway, it’s good that I can be able to watch it at this moment. Actually, Andre promised to lend it to me before she flys off and I have to wait longer.

Haha, the Jewel in the Palace is really SHIOK great.. The character of a little girl is so likeable! Interesting culture and life in the palace.. Will continue to watch the rest after my work later.

Off to go to the TPYE for work!

I’m feeling so great after swimming with Andre. It was quite fun although we both did nothing except swimming and chatting.
Today was my “first” day of swimming and I am starting it over again. Before my father passed away, I had my regular swimming schedule and I was all by myself. I managed to lose much weight. Now, I gained weight and it was back to the old one. It couldn’t be helped. My mummy kept on cooking so much of the dinner and yet, she couldn’t finish all. So, I helped..

When time passed and we both got over my papa’s death, I told my mummy not to cook too much. Sometimes, she does not need to cook.

Gaining weight is easy but losing weight is even harder. Quite tough. I hope to lose some weights and in this way, I can be able to slim down.. :p

Although there was no English subtitles on my story, many viewers were able to understand my signing and speech. Clear and sharp shots!

After the two shows, many viewers sms me many messages..
“Congrats, I’m proud of you…”
“Cool gal, I admire you for being strong to overcome many obstacles…”
“…When you need to confide in someone, do sms me for a chat, OK?”
“…After this show, hope you will have sponsors for your studies…”
“Stay focused, never give up.. I’m proud of you!”

After watching, I got mixed feelings. Paiseh, Excited, Hopeful, Touched… I shed a few tears and I realized that a lot of hardwork and sacrifices made me what I am now. I cannot turn back right now. I only know practices take alot of time and thus, I cannot take up a full-time job. The only way for me is to take some part-time jobs. And to build a career in performing & teaching (music). And hopefully, many sponsors will come forward and help me. *praying*

1 more day to be on TV..

Juz to inform everyone of you that the TV programme is called “Youth Decode”. Alright, an update for those who will miss it at 9.30PM! It will be repeated at 11.30PM on 19 January 2006, Thursday.

Me, very excited to look forward to it…

I’m exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Fair enough. Perhaps they haven’t. But now that you know, you must become one with your inner self.

Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You’re not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you’re not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner.

Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh!

Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You’re often late or unreliable. You’re showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs.

Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you’ll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don’t feel like envious outsiders.

Future: Show business or not, you’ll settle down happily if you’re among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don’t stay in one place too long, and don’t be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell?

Quite disappointed with my results. My presentation of DCCL Session 1 ended early at 4.45PM. From the results, I know myself that I was quite nervous because it was a quite long time since my very first presentation done in early September 2005. Guess there is a lot of room for improvement for my presentations.. Will take more DCCL sessions this March and meanwhile, I hope to practise on my public-speaking.

Alright, there will be the DCCL Session 2 next Saturday. Needs to get prepared for it.. Hope it will be more enriching!

WORK HARD!!

Hmmm, this is my great honour to be featured in the documentary. My story will be made known to almost everyone across this island and I hope my message: “Your dream is your hope; Hope keeps you alive; Hope gives you strength to go via the road less traveled; Life without a dream is no life at all” will be reached to them. To keep this dream going on, it takes alot of challenges to be overcome, especially for a disabled or ill person.
As for me, I chose this path as it was full of challenges. Not many people can do it. I know once one makes sacrifices, he/she shall not regret it. There is no turning point and I’m carrying it on, no matter how much problems I’m facing.

Ha, the process of the filming was interesting. I guess I enjoyed this. However, I felt that I was not very good at being interviewed. Quite shy.
The crew are friendly and cool!

By the way, my story will be shown on TV. Channel U. 19th January 2006, Thursday. 9.30PM. I’m so excited and I look forward to it!!
However, I’m informed that there are no English subtitles though I asked the director whether it is possible to put them. She was unable to help this because she had to type the subtitles manually and she does not have the decoder (that is highly expensive, I heard). So sorry to those Deaf viewers for having no subtitles.

As the token of appreciation, she will give me the VCD after the show. If anyone misses the show, do let me know and I will take note of it. But I do not know when I will have the VCD.

Just now, at work, the staff and I were playing. We were all imitating our laughing voices. Haa.. Haa… Haa….!
And this led to another crazy moment: Jackson’s general knowledge and pronunciation. We started off with animals’ sounds.

Cat – Meow, Meow
Cow – Moo, Moo
Horse – Neigh, Neigh
Wolf – Howl, Howl
Duck – Quack, Quack
We went on and on till Jackson didn’t know what some animals are, for example, Baboon, Dinosaur, Koala Bear.

Donna asked us to stop that playing. Then, she added, “Is this a ZOO?!” We all laughed… She then remarked that she would take us to a zoo, instead of having a chalet next time. If this really happens, it will be Jackson’s learning trip at his age of 41! *winks*

We changed our topic on pronouncing the staff’s names and food at KFC. Poor Aishah, Jackson couldn’t pronounce her name properly. Instead, he pronounced it as ICE-CREAM!! Oh my goodness!!!

Then, food at KFC.. We laughed hard at his pronouncing of Mountain Dew. Guess what?? BBQ!
We stopped there and at the same time, we enjoyed these fun. Think of it, we were only naughty, making fun of one another.. :p Hope the staff won’t mind it!

My blood is boiling!! I’m still ANGRY!!!

I guess I have a problem getting along with Mrs. Yong, the principal of Canossian School. Different principals give different feelings and this can affect everyone. Well, in everyday life, this applies to every situation such as work, social, politics, etc.

What problem here?? A few days ago, I emailed to Mrs. Yong to ask for permission to allow the filming crew (for Channel U) to film me teaching music to students. She replied that she cannot allow it because the painting and renovations work are in progress. I then appealed to her to allow the filming to be done after the completion of renovation work. In her another reply (in capital letters), she “SHOUTED” to me that the school CANNOT be used at all and THEY WOULD NEED TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER PLACE THEMSELVES. How shall I feel after reading her email? SO BIG!! SHE’S VERY RUDE!! WHY MUST SHE TYPE SO BIG?! I’m very angry!! It’s fine with me that the filming cannot be used in school and I can tell them about it.

BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE “SHOUTED” AT ME!!!!

I tolerated with her for some time. Not only this case but I faced a few ones. I asked her for permission to book the music hall for the ex-band members to go back and practise during the school holidays (December 2005) besides the band-practice days. And, at the same time, I’m aware that the members need to sign in (log in) for security reasons. She replied to me the same thing as the same reasons mentioned above.

Last Nov, my colleague, Mary Lim, told two students to have extra practices as they had their upcoming performance in December 2005. I then told her that I can help coach them on voluntary basis. When that day came, Mrs. Yong came and saw me coaching the students. She told me why I was there and she questioned me, sounding as if she wanted to chase me away. I then knew that she was not aware of these extra practices and I explained it to her. But she couldn’t believe me. Fortunately for me, Mary Lim came and explained it to her. From there, I was very angry!

I know that Mrs. Yong has a very bad impression of me. I asked myself what wrong I had been doing to her. Nothing at all..! I have no idea of what she thinks of me.
I have been tolerating with her since then. Meanwhile, I have been trying my best to do my good job in teaching music. And I never use sign language to communicate with the students as I know its school motto & approach and I was from that school. So far, I have no problems with it and even them.

After that conflict, I am still VERY ANGRY!! I feel that she picks up on me!! It’s not FAIR!! One day, the band will collapse, I guarantee. From 1995 to 2003, the band had been facing problems. Not many teachers can have patience to teach the deaf students and they cannot stay longer (less in a year). Look at Mr. Teow, it’s only him who has been with the band for more than 15 years!!!

Right now, I have set it myself that I will leave the Canossian School in the end of this year. At the same time, I will find work outside Singapore. I’m working hard on it…
True enough, there is no future for me in Singapore. No prospects from what I have been doing now.. I know I’m not the only one and there are most of the people who are complaining..
If it is outside Singapore, I will still face the similar situation. But at least, somewhere outside Singapore, I believe I can find a full-time job to teach sign language and music. I can do other subjects. I only know that I love to work with children and people. But as for Singapore, I do not think I have that kinda of job..!

Even worse, Singapore hasn’t opened up to this disability. We have been advocating for disabled but still, the goverment hasn’t done something about it!
No subtitles at all for the Deaf! No interpreters/note-takers in schools for the Deaf!! Discrimination everywhere… Poor us, we are derived of our civil/human rights.. What are we? Are we supposed to be equal individuals as others??

I HATE IT!! I HATE SINGAPORE!!! ASHAMED OF BEING THE SINGAPOREAN!!! *fuming*