~ PerCusSo ~

Thanks, kidz, hina, Shalini, Jarn May and SaltyBanana, for being there for me when I was down.

Again, thanks for keeping me company at Esplanade through a whole night last Saturday, SaltyBanana!
Anyway, pursuing big dreams is a very tough journey where there are hard work, loneliness and sacrifices. I hate loneliness! Of course, I may have my friends who are there for me. But it is just that I have no one to turn to. I lost my very good friend, Rossman.. He’s now my acquaintance.

Many people think I’m strong. However, I’m weak inside.. Just wondering if you keep me company when I need someone, when I’m down, crying…

Received the letter from Lasalle-sia about the results of the audition last Friday. It said that my application to July 2006 Intake was rejected because of my poor aural and technical skills. To me, it was unfair!

During the audition, I was very nervous that I couldn’t produce my best shot at my second song. The first song went well. I knew that I fared quite badly at this part. Then, it came to the questionable issue on my aural skills. The three interviewers tested my aural skills and I was very honest about it. I do not have any proper aural skills. However, there was alternative aural test for hearing impaired, I told them. But still, they kept telling me that the aural skills will be based on hearing standards. I had to argue with them over this issue since I’m deaf and I believe that there will be other alternatives to it.

Besides this, I told them that I applied for the Intake 2007, not 2006, to make sure that there was no any miscommunications among us. In their fast reply, I needed to re-apply for the Intake 2007 and to see if my aural skills will be improved, they will reconsider it. I was upset about it since I was treated like a hearing person whom they expect something out of it. For example, when I speak well, they will expect me to lip-read, with no need of learning sign language.
Again, I felt that I was wasting my time over it.

Above all of this, the results was unfair just because of my deafness. I refused to accept it. My overseas applications had been successful whereas, here in Singapore, the NAFA closed its doors to deaf who apply for music courses. And, the LASALLE-SIA may not accept deaf. These are solely based on the reasons where aural skills lack in deaf and perhaps, they dare not adjust their curriculum in this subject for deaf. It’s very obvious!!

I’m very sad!
I hate it when they expect me to behave like a hearing person! They should accept me that I’m deaf here and I admit I’m aurally-challenged with my musical talents!!

NTU COR Camping at Kota Tinggi and Desaru from 15 June to 18 June..

1ST DAY – It was raining.
My elder brother sent me to Lavendar MRT and I met up with many people at Lavendar MRT station at 7.30AM. We were in different groups and I was in Group D.
Departing for Rainforest Adventure Centre at Kota Tinggi. Pitched tents. Lunch. Played ice-breaking games like HUNT-FIRE-SHAKE, KUNGFU (Dragon, Fire, Nirvana, Phoenix) due to heavy rain.
Then came the Low Elements (Obstacles Games), Abseiling, Indiana Jones and Rafting Competition.
After dinner, we went for the Fireflies Cruise. Couldn’t get close to the fireflies, but 2 flies came to some of us. Me too..

2ND DAY – Expedition to Mount Panti. It was a very long, tiring journey. However, it was enjoyable and I got to enjoy the nature – leeches, spiders, millipedes, dogs and a tiny snake. Outdoor cooking Maggi noodles at the top of Mt. Panti (Lunch).
Once we were back to the resort, we had our good, refreshing bath! Then came the steamboat dinner. Supposedly, we got the SOLO Night after the dinner. It was cancelled upon the request of the participants’ majority. Before we went off to the bed, we had our feedback sessions with our instructors of Rainforest Adventure Centre. To me, this adventure programme is exactly the same as the OBS Singapore. It is not very suitable for adults like Jennifer, Jarn May, Stella, Caroline, Gary, Ken and me. It is boring since we experienced these things last time!!

3RD DAY – Departing for Kota Tinggi Waterfalls. We had our swim over there. It was damn COLD!!! But we all were given a very short time. Less than 1 hour!!
Then, we were on our way to Desaru Fruit Farm. We had our lunch and proceeded to the farm to see different types of fruits like durian, jambu, dragon-fruit, bread-fruit. Then, we had our little shopping. After it, we proceeded to the Desaru Holiday Chalet. At the chalet, some of us played beach games while the others had our free & easy time. We had our BBQ/Closing dinner. Quite boring night…!

4TH DAY – Departing for Singapore. We ended the camp at the Woodlands Customs.

Hmmm, I guess it was a good break for me. Before I set off for the camp, I had been moody and I was affected by the audition. Now, I feel refreshed and guess I have to think of other alternatives for my problems and dream goals. Now working on them…

No mood to talk to anyone.
No mood to read the book “One Child”.
No mood to eat my dinner.
No mood to work tomorrow.

I wanna stay at home and sleep all the way…

Two baby gerbils are growing up and fast… They are males. One is brownish-black and the another one is white. Adorable!!

Just received an email from LASALLE-SIA that I got an audition in the morning next Monday (12 June 2006). It was unexpected!

Now, I’m preparing myself well for the audition.. Hey, wish me GOOD LUCK! Pray hard for me!!!

My SONY CD player is getting spoilt.
Just realised it when I had the practice with XTOMIC. Guess, it’s time for me to buy an iPod. I need to do research on these iPod models and at the same time, I will decide on my budget.

A loss of one baby gerbil was reported yesterday. It was not eaten up by their parents. It didn’t survive after 3 days. I guessed that it was partly my fault and I replaced the cage with the tank. The parents needed to adjust themselves to their new home and they neglected their babies. I was not sad or shocked by this loss.

How did I know about it? Abby sent me the webby pages on the baby gerbils. It was too late for me since I changed their homes before I got her links by emails. It couldn’t be helped.

I say again, let nature takes its course.